Sticks and Stones: The Words and Actions of Others

In life, it can be difficult to see that peace still dwells within us—especially when heartache, turmoil, sudden change, or long-carried burdens weigh heavily on our path. In such moments, we often retreat behind walls of protection, measure our pain, and lean into fear and hurt.

We imagine that time alone will heal us, believing that one day, after enough days have passed, all will be well. Yet, the soul whispers a deeper truth: even in what wounds us most, there can be hidden purpose. What wounds us most often are not the events themselves, but the words and actions of others.

Understanding the Impact of Others

Others may hurt us, yes—but perhaps the greater mystery is not why they do so, but why we allow their actions to shape our inner peace. To answer this, we must recognise two important factors when others wound us with words or deeds.

Our Sense of Identity

When the ego takes the driver’s seat, we begin to internalise others’ words or actions as reflections of our worth. We forget that the soul remains untouched by external judgement. It is, of course, healthy to reflect on our behaviours and discern whether there is truth in another’s observation. This can serve as a valuable feedback loop for growth.

Yet, to cultivate criticism as though it were absolute truth, and to weave it into our sense of value, is to deny the inherent beauty and perfection that already dwell within. Worse still, when such criticism is fertilised, it can spread until we are engulfed by subjective self-judgements and negative inner scripts about our worth in the world.

The Projection of Others

Much of what people say or do stems from their own struggles, fears, or wounds. When criticism is directed at us, it is often hard to summon enough empathy to see these hidden motivations. What we encounter instead are the defence mechanisms of another’s ego—surfacing subtly as passive aggression or, at the other extreme, as open hostility.

But here is the deeper truth: while the actions and motives of others may remain hidden, what is always within your sight is the choice to live, uphold, and embody your true identity—free from shame, guilt, blame, or limitation.

Three Practical Ways to Protect Your Peace

1. Pause and Breathe Before Absorbing

When criticism arises, resist the impulse to react immediately. Take a conscious breath, allow a pause, and let the words settle before deciding whether they hold any truth. This simple act of stillness creates space for the soul to respond rather than the ego to react.

2. Separate the Message from the Messenger

Ask yourself: Is this about me, or is it about them? Often, criticism reflects the other person’s struggles, fears, or projections more than your own reality. By distinguishing the message from the messenger, you retain the freedom to accept only what is useful and release the rest.

3. Anchor Yourself in Your True Identity

Return daily to practices that remind you who you are beyond external judgement—whether through journaling, affirmations, meditation, or simple reflection. When you live from the truth of your soul, criticism loses its grip, like stones falling harmlessly at the base of a mountain.

Embracing Your True Self

Sticks and stones may bruise the body, and words may pierce the heart, but neither has the power to diminish the essence of who you truly are. There is no need to linger in the stray forces of self-rejection.

When you pause, discern wisely, and root yourself in your soul’s truth, you discover that peace is not something others can give or take away. It is already yours—unshaken and waiting to be lived.

Now is the opportunity to reclaim the full depth of who you are. This is a deeper knowing of your true potency and all that you can achieve, feel, think, and become.

The Journey Towards Healing

Healing is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience and compassion towards ourselves. As we navigate through life's challenges, we must remember that our worth is not defined by others. Instead, it is rooted in our own understanding and acceptance of who we are.

Finding Support

Sometimes, we need a little help along the way. Seeking support from a professional can provide guidance and encouragement. A therapist can help you explore your feelings and develop strategies to cope with the words and actions of others.

Conclusion

In conclusion, remember that you have the power to protect your peace. By understanding the impact of others, practising self-awareness, and embracing your true identity, you can navigate through life's challenges with grace.

The journey may not always be easy, but it is one worth taking. You are deserving of peace, love, and joy. Embrace your journey, and know that you are not alone.

---wix---